Do me a favor and start this post off by playing “Never Forget you - Lupe Fiasco”

Aight now that we got that over with, let me introduce you to one of the main reasons i’m alive and have my soul intact. Outside of my immediate blood related family, i don’t think anybody has made a bigger impact on who i am today and who i can become in the future more then Bill Menafra.

He IS the Kiwanis Adviser for De Anza Circle K, but more then that he is one of the first people that welcomed me into the Kiwanis Family. Several years ago at the 2006 De Anza Circle K banquet I was made the Spirit Chair for De Anza Circle K. It was kind of funny because i had just graduated high school at the time and was not even known by more then half the members @ De Anza and was entirely unheard of by the rest of the Circle K. However, when my name was called by the out going president Bambi Mac (aka my sister) I was immediately greeted by a red faced fellow named “Old Man Bill.” 

From the second i met him i knew that he was someone that was always in charge. He was a boss and to us at De Anza Circle K he was our “Godfather.” I remember a meeting back then when i had no filter to what i would say. I was talking so much shit to him, calling him old and dropping every witty remark i had on him. He didn’t even flinch. He didn’t even get angry. All he did was keep his gaze on me the whole time, while leaning back in his chair as he calmly raised his hand and flipped me the bird. WOW, the force behind that one gesture made us laugh and everyone around us gasp in disbelief as they witnessed a 17 year old obnoxiously loud Asian kid berating an old man, only for this young Asian kid to get owned.

This was literally one of the best times of my life as the Circle K club at De Anza and our Advisors Bill and Flo were the first people in my life that really let me vent all of my energy w/o trying to limit me. They never told me to be quiet, or told me to slow down. They only told me to be smarter, be better, and never stop doing what i do. Before meeting Old Man Bill i always had a hard time listening to authority. I mean i do still have that problem, but the way Bill walked around with his swagger. He was just so cool that i had to look up to him, i had to follow him, and if he asked me to jump through a brick wall for him then i’d already be halfway through before he’d finish his sentence. 

My first time really realizing that Bill had our back no matter what was when we went to the Circle K Fall Training Conference. De Anza Circle K was at the Fall Training Conference eating breakfast. We were watching all the other schools around us cheering loudly and proudly. Phung our president at that time looked right at me and went. Where’s your cheers Spirit Chair. I remember drawing a blank and feeling the pressures of every member of my clubs eyes on me. I think John Kim made a comment too. something along the lines of “Yea man, Wheres all your cheers at? whats your job huh? What are you good for?” I started trying to make cheers on the spot and i suggested that we make a cheer from the shocker symbol that all De Anza Circle K members did since the founding days of De Anza Circle K. At the time it meant everlasting friendship to us, but it was still called the shocker. We were all brainstorming cheers when Matt (i’d say his whole name but iunno if he’d want me to) took words from all the cheers we made and randomly blurted out “Whats got 2 in the pink? and 1 in the stink? De Anza Shocker! De Anza SHocker!” as he raised his hand high in the shocker symbol. Our table loved it, and i went into the Ice Breaker Workshop, walked on stage and spread it like a gospel.

*We actually shortened it to “De Anza Shocker, De Anza Shocker” but we did it after the workshop i spread it at. Phung still gets mad at me to this day for saying the whole thing, but in my defense he told me my job was to own everybody and i felt like that cheer started a huge spark for our spirits.

24 hours later we had 400+ people who knew our cheer and i’d say that at least half joined us in doing it.

This is where Bill comes in. Soon After FTC we get a visit from our divisions LTG. He came in telling us that people were pissed at us for making the cheer and wanted it stopped. To be honest when FTC ended Sunday morning we said it three times at most on the way home and then got tired of it and moved on to newer things. However, apparently where we stopped others from our district didn’t. We were told that it had spread, and it was offensive, and that it needed to be stopped. As we were being informed of how we basically messed up big time, Bill just sat there waiting. I don’t know about the others, but hearing all that stuff made me feel so guilty. I felt like i let my friends down, my club down, and myself down. My spark that had grown so big from the aftermath of FTC was starting to die when Bill jumped in and started interrogating our LTG. “Why did you let it tidal wave? why weren’t we informed? How come the Kiwanians didn’t tell us anything, but went through you instead?” Questions after questions were shot at our poor LTG (who is a great fellow). Here we were the guilty, and still he fought for us. He didn’t let us lose an inch of respect or dignity. I remember watching him turn from the fun loving old man that always kicks back into my hero. I remember Phung yelling at me while i was telling Bill that i was so sorry and that it was all on me. I had messed up so bad and that i’ll email the Kiwanis DA to apologize for my huge mistake. He just looked at me and told me to relax, make the apology and not get so upset over it. He calmed me down and saved my spirit at a time when i felt like all of my enthusiasm would be gone.

I really think that if that day hadn’t ended with his reassurance then the rest of my life i would have been a lot more timid because i don’t think i’ve told anyone how i was just ready to give up and stop being me and turn into something quieter and robot like. He really kept my drive to “make every moment a moment” alive.

Fast Forward to our District Convention that year. We had a crazy theme, crazy cheers, and crazy energy. we were all pumped up and psyched and ready to roll when we get invited to eat dinner with Bill and his wife Ingrid. 20+ starving and hyphy’d out college kids were being treated to a nice dinner by their adviser was amazing. It was chill and relaxing with Bill telling us to have fun and for me it seemed like one of those movie scenes where the family has the big group meeting to get everybody on the same page before the climax in the movie. After dinner we proceeded to basically man handle DCON in the Spirit department. Past members came out, members from other schools joined us, and best of all our Kiwanians joined us in creating one of the most intense frenzies of cheering and swagger i’ve ever witnessed. If i had to sum it up in a sentence then i’ll say this. At DCON, De Anza Circle K was so crazy that our Kiwanians even a thizz face. it was Official.

Play “I know i can - Nas”

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After i moved to San Diego and became President then LTG he continued to support me. There was no distance that could stop him from telling me “hey, you can do it.” or just telling me that he was proud of me. Even when i came back home and felt like i lost my place in the world. I asked him if it’d be ok if i joined the Circle K at De Anza again or should i just move on. He told me he’d love to have me back. I thank Bill and the then president G for welcoming me into the club and again not trying to limit my personality. They along with all the friends new and old helped rekindle my soul.

He was fighting cancer for the third time. He had beaten the past two fights but this third time came to soon after the second, but i never thought he’d lose. i never thought he’d back down. we visited him several times and he always had his spirit in front of us. even when his spirit weakened along with his body i didn’t believe it. He was Bill Menafra, he was a pillar of the community, he was the definition of the word “Man.”

They Say that 1 year ago today he passed away, but i don’t believe them. i remember hearing about it from my sister who i could barely understand through her sobbing. The second i was told what happened i went and turned on my xbox and started playing games while repeating the words “nope, didn’t happen” over and over in my brain. My sister picked me up and i calmed her down and told her to stop crying because i might. Every single tear or sentence she made about bill broke down my mantra of “nope, didn’t happen” I held myself together as we got to Mom’s (Ingrid) house and as i walked through the door i hugged Ingrid and cried. I cried so hard that i could barely stand and if Ingrid wasn’t so strong and tall i probably would’ve fallen and taken us both down because of my tight grip on our hug. I cried so hard i could feel my soul crying. The crying felt like an eternity, but honestly i’d cry for an eternity if it meant i got to hear you call me a woman and flip me off for just 10 seconds.

Even as i write this i remember the emotions i felt that day and it still hurts. I fought off my tears as much as i could and even on some days a year later i keep fighting them off because if Bill ever saw me cry he’d call me a little sissy and we’re not having any of that. His funeral came later and it was packed. people were waiting outside the door because there wasn’t anymore room in the hall. He was loved and respected by many. There were many tears that day, but thanks to his close friends who spoke there was plenty of laughter because if anybody knew Bill Menafra they knew that he wouldn’t ever let you cry and frown when smiling feels so much better. I remember seeing many past and current members of Circle K along with many distinguished and notable members of Kiwanis come. I remember how we all dropped our roles as student leaders and Kiwanians to comes together as people. People mourning the loss rejoicing the life of a GREAT MAN. We told stories of Bill’s greatness, we shared his favorite libation in memory of him, and we all stored a part of him in each of our souls because we know that he didn’t leave us, but rather he went to become apart of each of us.

Start playing the song “the show goes on - Lupe fiasco”

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I just want to say that Old Man Bill. You really changed my life. you gave me courage when i only had fear, you kept me moving forward when all i could move was in reverse, and you believed in me. The message “Bill Menafra, Live On” on the red bracelet dedicated to you on my wrist is nothing compared to the messages you’ve left in my heart and soul.

I miss you Kiwanis Adviser mentor   Dad. Even if you say you adopted us first, i’d like to say we adopted you cause you were always there for me and i can’t say that enough.

Fight On, Live On